Don't end up in Divorce Court: 3 Pros to Premarital Counseling

70% of black woman’s first marriage will end in divorce, as well as, 47% of white woman’s marriages…

I read this statistic and was ALARMED!  And after my initial shock it dawned on me that I am a part of this statistic!  Which led me to write this blog on why premarital counseling is a MUST!  I didn't get premarital counseling and I have always regretted that decision.  But now I'm wiser and much more knowledgeable about the benefits.  Now I'm not saying premarital counseling can prepare you for everything life and marriage will throw at you, (or save your marriage from divorce), but I am saying it can lay the foundation that can help you navigate some murky waters when marriage gets tough. 

Here are a few pros to premarital counseling for the newly engaged couple:

  • Less likely to end up in divorce court.

Statistics show that couples who went to premarital counseling had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who didn't.  I think that's all we need to say about that.  

  • You get better at communicating

All relationships need healthy communication and if you and your fiancé struggle in this area the right counselor will help you to develop your communication skills.  The counselor is like a mediator so you don't have to fuss and cuss your fiancé out every time he does something you don't like. ( Disclaimer: I am not condoning fussing and cussing, but let's be realistic it happens from time to time.) They will give you strategies and ideas on how to voice opinions and concerns without the use of four letter words.

  • Helps you to plan for your future together

Couples often get so caught up in planning the wedding that they can neglect the actual marriage.  My sister gave me a gem when we were discussing her take on premarital counseling, and she said "Plan your marriage not just your wedding!"  This right here gave me life! Ok! But it means don't get so involved in the wedding that you're only looking at that one day.  Marriage is a lifetime so start it out on a strong foundation. Discuss your future together and make plans on how you're going to grow together.

Plan your marriage not just your wedding
— Danica Brown
how to plan a winter wedding how to plan your marriage

If you're in the New Orleans area here are a few resources for premarital counseling:

  1. Dr. Matt Morris: Building Us
  2. Restoration NOLA
  3. Your local church: Most churches require some sort of premarital session prior to marrying a couple.

I want to know your thoughts on premarital counseling, is this something you've considered or something you and your spouse did prior to marriage?  Leave a comment below.  And don't forget to like, comment, and share on social media.  Also, follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @kdkulture.

I hope this helps any couple who is engaged or just thinking about marriage!

xo, Kiirstin